Global Meditation Podcast
Global Meditation Podcast
Matthew Roberts, Part 2 - Initiated: UAP, Dreams, Depression, Delusions, Shadow People, Psychosis, Sleep Paralysis, and Pandemics
This is part 2 of an initial 2 part interview with Matthew Roberts, author of "Initiated: UAP, Dreams, Depression, Delusions, Shadow People, Psychosis, Sleep Paralysis, and Pandemics".
Matthew's bio from his Amazon.com page:
"In 2015, Matthew Roberts was a US Naval service member stationed onboard the USS Theodore Roosevelt. The events that transpired during their 2015 workup cycle brought us the first-ever declassified footage of unidentified aerial phenomenon (UAP)and the New York Times article titled: “Glowing Auras and ‘Black Money’: The Pentagon’s Mysterious U.F.O. Program.” Subsequently, he transferred to the Office of Naval Intelligence in Washington D.C. where he began to have frequent, and often intense, personal experiences with the phenomenon. He discovered through a long, painful, and terrifying journey that the truth of the phenomenon has deep and profound implications for the future of the human race. It may seem like a bold statement but the ultimate universal truth that underlies the phenomenon is captured in the simple yet eloquent words of Mark Twain, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.”
Matthew's Amazon page: https://www.amazon.com/Initiated-Depression-Delusions-Psychosis-Paralysis-ebook/dp/B08P9MSQYD
Our websites:
https://globalmeditationnetwork.com
https://www.facebook.com/GlobalMeditationNetwork
http://www.youtube.com/c/Globalmeditationnetwork
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Welcome to another episode of the Global Meditation Podcast.
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This weekly show features explorations of spiritual and paranormal topics with a focus on
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Bridging the physical and metaphysical bringing deeper meaning to our individual and Collective lives
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and now here's your host Darby Miller
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hello everyone welcome to part two of my initial two-part interview with Matthew
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Roberts Matthew is the author of initiated UAP
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dreams depression delusions Shadow People psychosis sleep paralysis and
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pandemics in 2015 Matthew was a U.S naval service
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member stationed aboard the USS Theodore Roosevelt the events that transpired
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during their 2015 workup cycle brought us the first ever Declassified footage
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of unidentified aerial phenomenon otherwise known as UAP and the New York
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Times article entitled glowing auras and black money the pentagon's mysterious
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UFO program subsequently he transferred to the Office of Naval intelligence in
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Washington D.C where he began to have frequent and often intense personal experiences with the phenomenon he
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discovered through a long painful and terrifying Journey that the truth of the phenomenon has deep and profound
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implications for the future of the human race it may seem like a bold statement but the ultimate universal truth that
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underlies the phenomenon is captured in the simple yet eloquent words of Mark Twain the two most important days in
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your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why
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and Matthew's book is available in both paperback and Kindle versions at amazon.com
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as I said this is part two of our interview if you haven't listened to part one I do recommend that you listen
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to that first that was aired last week you can find it in the podcasting apps
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and on youtube.com and part two Matthew continues his
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fascinating terrifying and ultimately Illuminating experiences with this
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phenomenon so let's go ahead and transition to the interview now enjoy
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so um so you have we can uh we can segue back to
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okay uh this this experience with the this female uh entity you were raped and you
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started to think about it and noticing that there there was some
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uh signs pointing at you toward that this was more than just
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a rape that this this possibly or signpost to something else and what was
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the next step on that Journey for you after that uh yeah so the The Next Step was just
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you know I I experienced months of just Terror and
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I I was just constantly afraid I was just filled with anxiety
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um and I was starting to get angry uh that I was
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you know constantly filled with fear and anger and anxiety uh I wasn't sleeping
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there were a lot of nights I would just sit up uh all night long on the side of my bed
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and in my uniform and I would just stand up when my alarm went off and I would go
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to work you know uh and so
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it was it was a lot of that and um I was just so exhausted you know I was just so
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tired and um I thought you know I I don't know where
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all this is going I I know that there's something here I need to keep going with
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this because I want to get to the bottom of it but at the same time I can't I
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can't do this anymore I'm you know I'm I'm gonna die if I keep this up
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um so I I just you know in just like a kind of a fit of
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rage one day I decided I was done you know I was done with this I I had
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started reading um other books by the same author uh as the guy the guy who wrote the kabali and
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William Walker Atkinson and I had been going through those uh
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and reading them and it wasn't making much sense to me uh
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I like I said there were indications little little things that told me that there
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was something deeper something more but I I still wasn't getting it uh and
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so I just I was like forget it I'm done I'm throwing these books in the garbage in the morning I am done with this don't
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bother me again I don't want to see another one of you guys in my room at night forget it you know
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so uh of course that night uh I went to bed
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and I was I don't know how I fell asleep I was so angry uh I I could have I could
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have put a hole in a wall um I was that angry [Music] um
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so I I fall asleep and at some point in the night I wake up and uh you know of
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course my room is blurry and I was like here we go here we go uh
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foreign
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starts to come into focus a little bit and um I'm looking across my nightstand I
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can't move of course because that's also you know a Telltale sign that it's them
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um and all of a sudden he comes into Focus
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there's this small man standing there on the other side of my nightstand and I
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the only word I can use to describe him as like yard gnome he looked like a yard gnome he had a beard
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uh and long white hair um and it was like it was like locked
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um this beard and his hair uh he looked very clean he was like all
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white almost kind of a little bit of a glow to him uh and he had on these uh
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large black glasses uh they were they were like goggles
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um and I could see that there was a light inside the inside the glass because I
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could see hit the ridge of his nose underneath um the glass in in the red glow
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and uh he I was like looking at him and I I thought
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what is this you know this little yard gnome looking guy
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and um so I'm a little bit puzzled I at first I was angry when he woke me up but
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then due to his appearance I was a little you know uh I don't know I guess I
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wanted to laugh a little bit so uh you know he's staring at me and I'm
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staring at him and then he says don't give up keep going and so and then he puts me back to sleep
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and I'm like I just I was so instantly angry that he
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had come back to tell me that that I kind of thought to myself you know F you
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you know before he put me to sleep um but I woke up the next morning and as
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I said I like to think things through I like to analyze things and I thought to myself you know
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he probably knows something I don't um clearly he knows something I don't you
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know any any being that can construct a craft that can fly around uh as fast as you want to go
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um Shirley knows a few things about the universe that I don't so maybe I should
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just listen so I thought well how could I possibly
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keep going because I was just so terrified and I thought I have to just let it go
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I'll let it go and that's what I did I I had been in
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like this haunted house like years earlier you know how you can at Halloween you can pay to go into these
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haunted houses and I'm I'm walking around in there and you know I'm with some friends and some
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of them are girls and they're like screaming and grabbing onto me and
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and so I I halfway through this haunted house I thought to myself why am I afraid
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you know this none of this is real I don't have to be afraid and I turned
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it off and I just walked through the rest of the The Haunted House people are jumping
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out I'm like oh yeah that's great you know and I thought why can't I do that now
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and I thought I can do that now uh so I did
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and and that was when the experience became something else entirely you know it was
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a real Pivot Point oh yeah absolutely because it was like an instant
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and it's crazy because it was like instant Clarity in that moment
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uh it was just like it was it left me and I was like oh my God you know
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and it was at that point that I realized that ever my whole life you know had been just this
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a collection of my my emotional self and the way I was
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um you know uh projecting it on the world out there and that's just not the way it
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was it was like instantly I knew that in giving it up it was just
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it was incredible really um that realization it was more than
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just uh thinking back the haunted house experience and saying you know I can do that now too and you and letting go of
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the fear you were in that moment when you made that pivot you were seeing
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something else what can you talk more about that what other once the fear dropped
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what opened up um well you know that was when uh or are
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you referring to like the dream states that I was having or well I'm actually referring to what you were just talking
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about it seems like it was it was more than just that you were suddenly Not Afraid you you turned off at a fight
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or flight uh uh thing that was going on but it's not like you were you were
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talking about the whole difference between the X extroverted yeah
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projection of emotions versus introverted you know bringing them inside and taking responsibility for
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them is that what you were just talking about oh yeah yeah absolutely that was
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and it was after that that you know it kind of became um
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it became very easy to look back at my own life and see
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how the things that I was doing were just projections of myself you know and
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and it became it became like a a new way to perceive
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a a brand new perception you know and and I think in like
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Christianity a lot of people talk about the eyes to see you know in the ears to hear this is
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what they're referring to um because suddenly I was able to see this it was so
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obvious you know um and most people don't reach that point
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ever uh but when you let go of these things you're no longer
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you're no longer viewing the universe and the world through
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a subjective reality lens if that makes any sense like everyone
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has these glasses on right and and these glasses are their their own
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personalities their own interpretations of things some of those things are not
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well thought out and so they view the world through this subjective lens that they view
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themselves through and everything else and in in in kind of putting this together
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in your own mind and opening yourself up to experience you you take these glasses
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off and and for the first time in your life you can view you can see
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objective reality for the first time um and it's a whole new way
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of of viewing the world and and that happened right when you dropped
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the fear oh yeah yeah it was it was like immediate it was like a switch uh
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something went off and I could clearly see too that
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um we we talk about introversion and extroversion is just simple personality traits uh and that's not the case that
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is not the case at all these are not simple personality traits these are two
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these are two different and very unequal uh mental planes of existence
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uh and they don't they don't see each other at all
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um and I think that's that's part of the reason why we have so much uh civil unrest right now is because
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everybody has their own perspective um and they're they're they're viewing
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the world uh subjectively rather than objectively
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um and that's a huge problem [Music] yeah I thought that that perspective of
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the current political climate which she wrote about in your book your book's very current I mean your book references
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the pandemic it you know recently what was it 2020 when it was published sure November 2020. yeah so it was I thought
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that uh looking at how the the cons your concept of these two different styles of
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dealing with emotions right of the extroverted introvert and how that relates to uh our political climate
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among other things was interesting [Music] so you
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almost it sounds like at a the drop of a hat you made this pivot and you decided I'm not going to be afraid anymore and
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you also started having this experience where you're able to look back and see
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reality for what it truly was with your
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your emotional projection pulled back is that would that be a way I'm having a
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little I really want to grasp what that was like for you and I'm having a little bit of trouble but that that that's
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that's the way it is right you you probably can't totally uh describe it
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because you have to experience it yeah exactly and I you know it became apparent to me in in reading some of
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Plato's works that I was reading the Republic and of course within the Republic uh is
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uh Plato's allegory of the cave right and he
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he uh he writes about once again about allegory because that's
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how all of this communicates with us it communicates with us through symbols and and
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a language we don't understand which is allegory and and and within the allegory
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you have these people chained to a K in a cave you know they're they're staring at this wall and all they know is that
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cave wall and that is reality to them uh but then one and one day one of them
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escapes and he leaves the cave and he's like oh my God there's this whole
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World out here you know and uh and and then he comes back to the cave
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and he tries to tell the other occupants about what he's seen in there they just don't believe him you
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know oh what are you talking about you're crazy you know and uh
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and and so that this this is is an experience that Plato obviously
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had um in my opinion and uh it's it's just the next step in
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human evolution and and it's been ongoing for a very long time uh and and Plato was someone who
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certainly uh Express that sentiment in allegory of
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the cave and it's and in speaking about this because you can't really
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relay it to someone else in any kind of way that does it justice and I say that
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in the beginning of my book you know that here I here here's my book I'm
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describing these things but I I know that that description is
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inadequate I can never completely
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um convey this idea to you because it's something that you have to experience yourself
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um and then it's it it borders on you know magic and mysticism
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you know uh because it's just so unbelievable and different
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foreign so was the you had an experience
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described in your book where if I'm if I'm recalling it correctly you're
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driving and you have a a vision of your your death you there there's an
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it's a some type of an automobile accident is that right
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yeah yeah I was uh I was driving I think I was driving home from work uh one day
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down the five uh and this is after the the the you drop
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the fear yeah yeah it was and and I still kind of
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was like you know where's all this going uh a little bit
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um because the the experiences uh in being able to see you know
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objective reality they were they were eye-opening but at
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the same time it was like you know and what am I supposed to do with that you know uh
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okay you know so I'm driving down the road and I'm like where
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where will where is this going you know exactly um and then I
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I heard this voice in my head and it said uh
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[Music] you know something about you're supposed to act as a shepherd of men but there's
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not much time and I was just like I kind of I was cringing at that uh because I was like
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no no I you know I've been an Atheist my whole life and you're going to tell me
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Shepherd of men that sounds ridiculous you know that's
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you know that that's just that's wrong uh it's probably a healthy sign that's
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what I want to hear from from someone's reaction when they hear that they're going to be a shepherd of men
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right and and I you know I've since just kind of I I kind of understand that that
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just means you know go out and teach people what you've learned uh and it doesn't mean
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you know that's all it means that's all it's ever met and I think that they've always used this language
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um that's why you know pharaohs in ancient Egypt were buried you know and with their hands
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crossed and they're holding shepherding Tools in their hands uh because this is the kind of language that's always been
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used uh and so that I am kind of more comfortable with that idea that it's
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just you're you're a teacher you know but and I wish they would have just said
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that instead but they didn't uh so you know I'm driving down the road and and
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this voice says you know your act just a shepherd of men but there's not much time and I thought well what do you mean
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there's not much time does that mean I'm gonna die and the voice said yes and
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and just as it said yes I was like instantly I was not
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in the same place I was driving through an intersection
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um it was night time and I had it I I had previously been driving during the day and uh
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I there's police lights all over the place and uh I feel like I'm being
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chased and then this car comes like at a high rate of speed and just T-Bones me right
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and um in the intersection and it's like slow motion it's like
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ripping through the cab I can feel the glass hitting me in the face and then it's over in an instant and uh
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and then all of a sudden I'm back in my car driving down the five back home from
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work and uh I was like what is that I I
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thought you know this is no less weird than anything else that has happened in
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this experience I'm not even surprised by it anymore and furthermore like at this point I've
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kind of have this realization that you know uh
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maybe I'm gonna die everyone's gonna die who cares you know I had I had no
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reaction to them showing me that um I wasn't like oh my God tell me when
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and where so I can get out of it you know uh I didn't care
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you know and then as I'm getting off the freeway off the exit ramp This Feeling Just Hits me like
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a ton of bricks it was just it was it was the craziest
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thing I've ever felt in my life all of a sudden I could feel everything
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around me as though it were an extension of myself
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I could feel uh the bugs in the grass on the side of the
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road I could feel the other drivers uh
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and it was just it was kind of a little
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overwhelming um at the time and I wish that I hadn't
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been driving because I felt like maybe that was maybe that was a little bit dangerous
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but uh yeah it was just this wall of emotion that was not my own and I recognized
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that it was coming from all around me uh and and the feeling just kind of
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gradually subsided um and uh I thought well that's it
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you know that's that that proves it I could just feel everything just then
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uh that proves that the universe is just one thing and uh and I am just a part of that one
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thing and I can know that for myself you know and so I uh
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you know this I I decided that I would keep going with all of this you know
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um and I and I did keep going I continued to isolate myself as I had been and I
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continued to read read these books uh
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and um eventually I reached a state where I had that feeling all the time
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uh for several months uh in accompanying that was
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I kind of was like observing the world for the first time not only with
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objective reality but then also as feeling it
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as a part of myself like that tree out there is not
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any different there's no separateness I can feel that tree you know I I am that
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tree I am everything around me um
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and uh and it allowed me to just kind of observe the world from that perspective
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uh for several months and and I I could sense like this
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I don't I I guess in looking it up later I I I'm assuming that it's what's
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described as uh karmic release uh because I could feel like these
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forces of the universe kind of whipping about everywhere and
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interacting with everything but they it was like I was in a bubble and they would just whip right around me
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and and they weren't interacting with me but I could sense them interacting with everything uh and I and
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I would observe people arguing in these kind of forces just like whipping around them uh
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and it was just it was a surreal thing but uh but I think it allowed me to have
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a a certain perspective that I never would have had of the world and the universe
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otherwise um if that makes any sense yes I mean as
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much as uh I think is possible uh it's so the karmic release you like karmic
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release the that's the idea that these forces are whipping around you
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affecting other people but somehow in that moment you you are no longer at the effect of these forces because there's
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been some type of um karmic release I guess right yeah yeah
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yeah and and you know uh this was something that William Walker Atkinson
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kind of writes about a little bit but I didn't understand it really until I
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experienced it but he talks about how he wrote this book called a series of
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lessons in rawhi yoga and each chapter in the book
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um comes with a mantra to repeat and um
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and and the way he put this book together is that it was a class and this is back in the early 1900s and so he
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would uh he would advertise in a magazine and students would send in and
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and become students in this class and every chapter was you know a bit of
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material that he would send out to them uh like once a month or something and
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then they would take that on board and practice it and so he put it together in this book
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and um he talks about how most people
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um which is and this is the hardest part of the journey that most people will do
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no better than to partially lift themselves onto the higher plane of existence
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but those who can like reconcile these paradoxes and work through it
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um can exist entirely on this higher mental plane
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and uh you know I kind of read that later as I'm going through this and I'm
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like no way this is what this guy is talking about this this is exactly what
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I'm experiencing and um he even says in there that he he there's
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this aside that he put in the book and and it was a correspondence to his
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students at the time and he says you know uh some of the students of this class are writing to me complaining that
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they are in you know extreme pain and anguish
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and he says uh you know you know always preceding the birth uh there are
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always the pains uh of Labor and that this is natural
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and uh just just keep going and and you're eventually gonna get there you
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know and and I mean his words were a lot more profound than that but uh in reading it I was like no way that this
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guy he just describes this experience to a t how did he know this stuff and it
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was just because he had been through it you know and it was as simple as that um
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and so you know like myself I wrote my book
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um to help people and he wrote his books uh for the same purpose to help people
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you know absolutely so you had you had this uh state of
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heightened awareness for some period of time I I've heard you describe that uh
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you seem to have the ability to sometimes get information that you you
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shouldn't have known yeah I heard a story and a podcast I listened to recently where you describe that you
31:28
were able to put a an animal to sleep but it was a one of your friends dogs
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kind of using the same approach that you you think the the entities might take
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with you where there's this heaviness feeling and your your hands got hot and and the dog was snoring while he was
31:48
being medically attended to in a way that that shouldn't have been happening right yeah yeah and uh you know my
31:55
thought was you know if they can do that well why can't I do that
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um and so I thought well let me try and then this was just happened to be uh the perfect opportunity to try
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something like this because uh my roommate's dog had been in a fight
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with a a groundhog on the groundhog had taken a bit hurt year and um
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and it was bleeding a lot and it like wouldn't stop and so he put
32:29
um what is that the silver nitrate he got silver nitrate and was going to put it on her ear and he
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said you know help me here he's like you're gonna have to hold her down because this is gonna hurt like hell
32:42
um and I I know that it hurts like hell because I've had wounds that have had to be treated with silver nitrate and I'm
32:50
not sure if you've ever had that but it burns it is oh my gosh it's kind of like
32:55
peroxide but a lot worse oh yeah it's probably like that times 10 maybe
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um so so I'm I'm holding her there and I thought you know let me just calm myself and
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just think about sleep and think about that sleep going through my hands and into her
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um and so she's laying there and then all of a sudden she's snoring
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um she's like you know and um he's putting the silver nitrate on
33:28
her ear and before he did that he's like hold her down this is gonna hurt you know
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um and um so I was like just holding her calm and uh
33:40
so he puts it on there and he's like oh wow she's not reacting to that at all you
33:46
know um and he thought that was kind of odd but and I I of course didn't talk about this
33:53
stuff with him so he didn't he didn't know any of that and um there
33:58
was another time where uh um and you know of course all of these
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things I think are things that can be done right but I I think that they require
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number one that you're in that state of Nirvana and I think they also maybe require that you
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work at it right it's just like any other skill you have to hone it and fine
34:25
tune it and and just become good at it it's not something that you
34:32
can you maybe you can do it off the top of your head once or twice but you've
34:37
really got to work at it to be able to do it whenever you want to do it you know and there was another
34:44
time where I was talking to someone and he and they had like a secret from me and I
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said well you know tell me and uh they wouldn't tell me and so I looked him in the eye and I wanted to
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know I had that intent that I want to know and like instantly in my mind's eye
35:06
I knew I knew what it was you know and it was and I told him what it was and he was a
35:13
little freaked out by that he didn't he didn't like that at all [Music]
35:20
uh but you know the and these things happen um and and if you were to ask me to do
35:25
that again could I do that again I don't know uh I don't know how I did
35:31
it the first time you know exactly but I I know that I did
35:36
[Music] and eventually this state of heightened awareness what you could call Nirvana it
35:44
uh it it left quite suddenly if I recall from
35:50
your book you felt the suddenly attention in your shoulders that you that have been gone for a while the
35:57
state lasted for was it a how long did it last roughly I think it was like
36:02
three three and a half months something like that okay it was it was it was most
36:07
of the summer it was there um and then you know I was at work one
36:13
day and it just shut off and I felt it shut off immediately I knew
36:21
uh it was gone because immediately I could no longer it was it was
36:27
the the that connection is so powerful that you can almost see it and when it left me I could almost see it leaving me
36:35
you know um and I you know I guess I was walking
36:41
differently even when I was connected um because like as you said I I immediately noticed
36:48
this kind of tension in my shoulders uh that was suddenly there that had not been
36:56
there for a long time uh and and I was I noticed it too driving home
37:04
from work I was a little disorienting because I could no longer
37:10
uh sense the other drivers on the road so I felt kind of a little bit lost like
37:17
I didn't know what they were gonna do it was a little scary
37:23
um honestly hmm um but I you know I
37:29
and I sense um kind of try to revisit this every
37:35
every season right um and come back to it
37:41
well yeah that that gets us into the really part two of your book we've really only covered I don't know if your
37:47
books in Parts but I I I it's basically it part two is is where we start getting
37:53
into some of the philosophical things that you've discovered uh and your journey and talks a lot
38:00
about um the Seas the seasons of initiation we can find with the uh the eluz
38:11
Mysteries yeah yeah and you found um you looked into I don't know if it
38:16
was William ackerson's books or maybe it was uh Mabel Collins but you you discovered that the the the state of
38:23
heightened awareness leaving you is natural it it happens it wasn't that you did something wrong or that you were you
38:30
know being cast out of of the garden this is a normal part of the process yeah and uh you know Mabel Collins
38:38
writes about this she talks about uh in in her book I I think it was in in our
38:44
glorious future uh she she discusses that
38:49
you know the you'll come upon this great storm which of course is like all of the
38:55
turmoil and everything of initiation but then then will come to peace and calm
39:00
that follows the storm um and she said you may experience this
39:06
peace and calm for a matter of days or months or years but it will end you know
39:15
and and so it did I mean it did it just does with everyone and I and I I do
39:20
think that that's natural for us right now but I feel like it doesn't have to
39:27
be that way um it is that way for us just because we
39:32
don't we don't know how to hang on to it and and our our
39:39
society and our world is not set up to accommodate this in any way
39:48
um because we don't we don't most people have no understanding that this is something that can actually happen right
39:54
you know they just they they dismiss all of this as religion
39:59
uh I of course look at a lot of people have these kind of kooky ideas of what
40:05
it means to be spiritual I I view psychology human psychology and
40:10
spirituality as the same thing um it's about keeping this clean
40:17
manicured mind and disciplined mind um and that's what it
40:24
um that's kind of what it means to be spiritual uh in my opinion
40:29
um but yeah it's it leaves you and uh
40:35
you know this is this is also uh Joseph Campbell describes this in
40:41
human mythology as the hero's journey right because because this hero's journey is present
40:47
in all of human mythology right they the hero well and he he starts out as this
40:54
normal person and then he goes through these extraordinary things and then he
41:00
uh returns once again to the mundane physical world
41:07
um and and and that's that's the story of
41:13
all of this this this experience that I had there's this hero's journey
41:18
uh there's a reason they talk about it in mythology and that's because it's always been happening you know I I I I
41:25
open my book with a bit of Greek mythology uh in the homeric hymn to the
41:32
goddess to meet her um and it was it was the it was the myth that was Central to the elucinian
41:40
Mysteries uh in in Greece and uh it's about this goddess whose
41:47
daughter gets abducted and taken to hate to hell um the underworld by Hades
41:54
and you know she Demeter her daughter Persephone is abducted she she wanders
42:00
the Earth depressed um covers herself in a dark cloak and a
42:06
veil so no one can see her face and she disguises herself as an old woman
42:12
um and in reading this you also can do Research into the Paranormal and how
42:19
many people experience these nighttime visits by an old lady right right
42:25
like the old hag I think is what they call her um and so that's not something new
42:30
either right um and so this is how the Greeks described it
42:36
um so it's Demeter she's wandering the Earth wandering these mortal cities
42:42
um and she comes across uh the daughters of the Lord of eluses at
42:48
this well um and they kind of asked there they come to this old woman and they say Hey you know who are you why have you
42:54
wandered so far from the city and she says well I just want to do a woman's work you know and so they're like well
43:01
come back to the palace with us and uh you can take care of our younger brother he's not well
43:07
so she goes to the palace with the girls um and uh she starts caring for this
43:15
young boy and she obviously she's an immortal goddess so she's very powerful and so she uh
43:23
decides that she's going to repay this family for their kindness towards her so she's gonna place this boy into a
43:31
fire to burn like a log every night uh to burn away his mortal soul
43:38
um and uh the mother of course discovers her doing this one day and becomes upset
43:45
she screams out loud uh as she's burning her little boy in a fire
43:50
and so you know she reveals herself as the goddess Demeter and says you know
43:56
lady you've made a huge mistake here I would have turned your son into an immortal God but now he's only going to
44:03
be immortal for a short time just by virtue of having sat in my lap and slept
44:08
in My Immortal Harms and so she then demands that this Temple be built to her the goddess to meet her
44:15
at the foot of the Acropolis uh and so the people obey and they do that
44:22
um and she remains at this Temple uh the goddess to meet her for a year and she
44:28
teaches the people how to deliver the holy right for themselves and and this
44:34
was a right that was never to be spoken of and of course I think
44:41
um this right was the experience that I had these these were the they they were facilitating this
44:48
um in society through what they called The Mysteries um these these schools that you could be
44:55
initiated into right so this this mythologist story uh
45:01
of uh Demeter could this could have been for all we know some type of uh a
45:08
visitation yeah yeah I mean I I think that you had
45:13
someone you know in Antiquity just like me who went through this and kind of had these experiences the old hag or
45:20
whatever and uh so they they they wrote this hymn
45:26
you know and this hymn became Central to the mystery because it it's a myth but
45:33
it's also allegory for the entire experience right of being burned in a fire every night uh to burn
45:41
away your Immortal Soul it's a very painful um unsettling uncomfortable experience
45:48
uh and uh and that's that's how they described it as burning like a log and a
45:55
fire every night um which sounds exactly like your experience that's that that would be one
46:01
way to describe what you went through right right right and so uh you know that was
46:09
that was what the initiates couldn't talk about what what all of that meant but you know that the Greeks they I I'm
46:16
told that they had a word for cracking the illusion of reality
46:21
um and that this was a part of the Mysteries as well uh and and that of course is it it falls
46:29
in line with everything that happened to me right it I mean everything just
46:35
to me it makes perfect sense and and I I mean I only came to this conclusion
46:40
because I didn't even know about any of this see the elusinian Mysteries and all of that but uh
46:47
I uh I had been meditating one day which is something that I rarely do by the way
46:54
um and I saw in my mind's eye I got this picture of
47:00
this white barked tree with uh with these dark spots on it and there
47:09
were yellow leaves falling to the ground and it lasted like two seconds but it was so vivid and so real I was like what
47:17
is that what are those trees what's significant about this that I saw was that the trees was it the
47:24
place what is it um you know and so I started doing a little bit of research and eventually I found
47:30
out that these were um poplar trees and and so I started reading about the
47:37
myth of the poplar tree and Demeter's daughter Persephone would
47:43
keep uh there's a mythology where she keeps Groves of poplars right outside uh
47:49
the entrance to the underworld um and and I talk about the mythology of
47:55
the Poplar about how they're you know seemingly they're these separate different trees under
48:02
themselves but if you do a little bit of digging underground you find out that
48:07
this is just one singular a full Forest of these trees it's just one entity
48:12
right they're they're all linked through their root system but you'd never know that until you start to dig
48:19
them up and you can see these roots and so and So within mythology these were uh
48:25
you know it was an allegory for the human race the way we are right we we think that we're these separate entities
48:32
uh and and that were separate from each other and separate from the world and and everything is just separate and
48:40
that's not the reality the reality is that it's everything is connected you know we just don't know it yet right
48:48
but but you can't you can't know it for yourself so that
48:53
one little uh blip that you saw in meditation the little quick uh image of
48:58
the poplar trees that is really how you started to stumble upon the uh uh the
49:04
the the Greek mythology and the yeah the uh I still can't say it the eluz hallucinian Mysteries yeah
49:12
all right and you really follow those Clues that's one thing that I think that has taken
49:17
you so far you see a little image like that and you grab a hold of that and you're gonna try to figure out what it
49:22
is and do whatever research you need to do oh yeah yeah and I I do that all the
49:28
time and what that has helped me do too is um so I I be since writing this book I
49:35
have people who contact me every season um and when I say season what I'm
49:42
talking about is is the the initiation season yeah yeah which starts in you
49:49
know around october-ish and goes through uh till the end of summer
49:55
um so basically it encompasses kind of a year but the the debt the depths of it
50:01
are in the the depths of winter right where where you have this whole death and
50:06
Resurrection not only within your own psyche but in the world around you
50:11
because we're Inseparable from our environment right so things die in the
50:17
winter you know and then they're reborn in the spring just like we are
50:23
um and so that's that's the whole idea but you know you read these myths and and
50:29
um Scholars will tell you oh this they're just poetically talking about the changing of
50:35
the seasons will know uh this this is much deeper than that uh and they knew
50:41
it and and you got to ask yourself if this is just poetry about the changing of the seasons why has this
50:48
why why is this Miss Stills told today 2 000 years later
50:54
uh we still have the text of this myth why has that survived of everything
51:01
that has ever been put into print you know uh why are there these works
51:07
that still survive today and uh I think it's because because
51:13
there were always people who understood them there were always initiates who
51:18
understood the allegory of these myths and they they kept them alive
51:24
and passed them down uh and and that's that's that's why we still have them today because the truth
51:31
has always been the truth um regardless of where or when you existed
51:39
it's always been to your knowledge uh is there any uh
51:46
story in Greek mythology that features some type of a rape like what you went
51:52
through I'm just wondering if there is you know the uh so the whole story of
51:58
Persephone being abducted by Hades is that Hades wanted Persephone to be his
52:03
wife um and so when people talk about this
52:09
and the the they refer to it as the the rape of Persephone right but but really
52:16
it's it's just the Abduction of Persephone is what they're kind of talking about but but it it's the the
52:22
actual story is known as the rape of Persephone okay yeah so uh
52:29
yeah absolutely I mean you know you look at Gobekli Tepe and stuff like that in
52:35
that area there are all these depictions not necessarily at gobeckley Tebby but
52:42
um on the outskirts of that there are you know you'll find little figurines uh
52:49
that are very old that that show God's you know with an erect
52:54
penis or uh you know a female god depicted nude kind of in a sexual
53:01
position um so I this has always been
53:06
um a thing as well um and you know
53:13
I I didn't really talk about this but I in the book I I wrote about an
53:19
experience where I met a child that resulted from this incident
53:26
uh and I'm not sure if you remember that in the book or not I absolutely do not I
53:31
don't I don't know how I missed that yeah so I remember a story that you you
53:37
told your brother and he was like oh cool you gotta you know your your genetics or kids up in space somewhere
53:44
and then you you didn't necessarily find that I'm using at the time but I don't remember the uh this story yeah so when
53:51
I was um when I was in this kind of state of Nirvana I
53:57
was asleep one night and um I woke up and I had my hands were crossed
54:05
like this and I was laying on my hands and I was like oh this is kind of a
54:12
weird position to wake up in and I realized I couldn't move so I was like oh you know something is going to happen
54:18
here uh but they I was told open your hand
54:24
and so I opened my hand and uh I felt this small
54:29
hand placed in mine and it was uh I could feel it had the same
54:35
skin texture as that blue female and it they started pulling the hand away and I
54:41
could feel its fingers were much longer than normal human fingers would be
54:47
and uh as it pulled away I felt kind of this
54:53
static around my hand uh and that's the only way I could describe
54:59
it it was like these [Music] uh like like you know like how you when you when you
55:06
have a something that's full of static and you run it across something and you hear that you can hear it like all right
55:13
going off and I I felt that around my hand and I got this mental impression of like
55:22
uh particle entanglement and um reincarnation
55:29
and there was a female voice that said so you can come back to us
55:35
and I was like oh maybe that's what this is all about like like my DNA with them
55:42
is now some kind of evidence of my my next Highest Potential
55:51
um and and that that would be that would be the Natural Way
55:56
um for that to happen does it I I'm not sure if that makes sense to you it made sense to me at the
56:04
time um yeah I do remember reading that part of the book and then that segues into the
56:09
the Teletubby kind of Teletubby like uh uh entities that uh you have a little uh
56:17
adventure and we're pretty much holding hands and having a good time uh yeah I
56:23
do remember that part though uh and I can't say that it makes total sense um the particle entanglement does and
56:30
I'm not quite sure what that's leading towards though uh I don't know I you know I think that
56:36
uh everything that happens um obviously is happening on the smallest level as
56:43
well and that is that the the smallest level is where things are really being
56:49
um uh uh actuated I guess maybe like uh
56:56
you know like uh that that smallest level of physics is
57:02
where it is where things are really happening that that manifest
57:08
everything we see around us right and so kind of like they say that the the astral level of things some people call
57:15
that the etheric precedes the physical so yeah you know thought influences the
57:20
astral which eventually can manifest into the physical in some way yeah and I
57:25
I think that you know uh that that's just what it is I mean in
57:31
that I don't know how but I I mean obviously that's going to have something to do with DNA and and stuff like that
57:39
and so I I I don't know like but when she when
57:44
you when the voice said so you can return to us what I was thinking you were meaning was that
57:52
uh some kind of a next Incarnation kind of a thing yeah like that this
57:58
entanglement somehow will enable you to Incarnate with them or right is that
58:06
what you're you're thinking or yeah I think so I mean uh that's and you know
58:12
in in this in these books that I was reading with the by William Walker Atkinson that's one of the things he
58:17
talks about is that you will always reincarnate to your Highest Potential
58:22
you know and and so having read that I think he said that in his book uh the
58:29
life beyond death um and I after having this experience I was like
58:35
oh you know maybe that's what he's talking about and maybe
58:41
maybe the only way that this can be actuated in some way is for me to be in
58:49
that state of Nirvana and for them to have my my DNA so that
58:56
I'm connected and then I have this kind of particle entanglement thing going on
59:01
that will then suck me into that in the next life that I don't know if that
59:07
makes it I maybe it's something like that I really don't know but it's It's gotta have something to do with that
59:14
and is that what you meant by you you met your child or was that something
59:20
else yeah I I don't really think that that was a child in the sense that uh we
59:27
would describe a child I mean I think that uh
59:33
I I you know we have this idea in our head that when we have a child that
59:39
that's this child is is having its first experience at something and that's just
59:46
not true you know that that child could have been your
59:52
uh your great grandfather or your uh your one of your next door neighbors
1:00:00
that had passed away who knows you know I mean and I find that very interesting I don't
1:00:06
know if you know the the University of Virginia I think University of Virginia I think it is is doing studies on
1:00:11
reincarnation and one that I found with uh particularly interesting
1:00:16
was there was a a child who his mother noticed him saying some
1:00:23
things he was talking about his other mother with the pretty hair you know
1:00:29
and uh he was able to tell her what his name was um and so they kind of look that up uh
1:00:37
and they found that he and and they tested this with him
1:00:43
um he used to talk about his other mother would take him to the playground near where they lived
1:00:50
and so they showed the kid um pictures of playgrounds right and they knew who this other kid was
1:00:57
that he said he was and um he this kid had died in a tragic
1:01:02
accident involving his babysitter a few years prior
1:01:08
to him being born and so they showed him the playground that this
1:01:14
mother used to take her child to uh and and pictures of other playgrounds and
1:01:19
they said which playground did your other mother take you to and he was he was able to pick it out you know
1:01:26
uh and he's very young uh like I don't know maybe five six something like that
1:01:34
uh and uh the crazy thing about it is that in his previous life
1:01:40
uh and I I I'm only saying this because I want to dispel any rumors that this
1:01:47
has anything to do with it whatsoever because I've heard people talk about race and that is just bogus so this kid
1:01:54
he was he was black in his previous life and he was a white boy
1:01:59
now so I I've heard people say because people have written books about this that race
1:02:05
somehow plays into this and I think that that's just total bunk it plays into what
1:02:12
um just you know Human Experience and that there's like a hierarchy according to race and I I want to say right now
1:02:19
that that is just this BS absolutely don't even
1:02:24
people have come to me with that kind of stuff and I'm like oh no wow now you you can take that somewhere else because
1:02:30
that's uh that's not anything I believe in yeah for sure
1:02:37
um I'm gonna start wrapping up before we do I just want to go back to that experience we were just uh talking about
1:02:44
where you uh another visitation you had and there was a small
1:02:50
a small arm resting in your hand and you were talking about that uh particle
1:02:57
entanglement was that I was under the understanding from your book that that small arm was one of the arms from these
1:03:05
Teletubby looking like creatures that you hung out with was was that the case
1:03:10
or this was like uh no I I you know I couldn't open my eyes during this experience but it felt like the skin of
1:03:17
the blue lady so I okay I didn't make that connection so this small arm
1:03:22
that's what she meant by the child yeah okay it was like uh the progeny uh of
1:03:29
your um interaction with the blue lady okay
1:03:34
but didn't the Teletubby like looking creatures happen during that same uh
1:03:39
experience or was that a different one uh that was that was a little while later okay okay yeah I got this mixed up
1:03:46
then but I I was still in that state of Nirvana when this happened
1:03:51
um and no I was I was in bed one night again and uh I woke up in my room and I could sense
1:04:00
someone standing behind me uh and I thought to myself I wasn't I wasn't
1:04:05
expecting any visitors tonight what's this you know uh
1:04:10
and so I feel his hand on my shoulder and it kind of turns me over and it's
1:04:17
looking down at me and I I can see it's wearing these same goggles right
1:04:22
I guess I know yeah yeah and it's I could see him blinking uh underneath the
1:04:29
glass of the the goggles and he's looking at me and he says Don't Be Afraid
1:04:36
and he's like kind of rubbing his hand on my hair and I was like I'm not afraid
1:04:43
and he's like he says he starts to get really happy and he's like then come with me you know and he grabs my hand uh
1:04:52
and pulls me out of the room and um I I'm like holding his hand going
1:04:59
down the stairs and I I was like hey you know hold on I'm
1:05:05
gonna fall down the stairs if we keep going this fast but I I realized he was floating and I
1:05:12
was floating too but I was like kicking my legs I think I made the joke that I look like a Chihuahua that you
1:05:18
had taken out of the water and right it's like it's like still swimming you know it's above the water
1:05:25
uh so anyway um he takes me to the back door and we're standing there and uh
1:05:33
all of a sudden these other two beings come out of my roommate's room and they have
1:05:39
instruments in their hands uh that looked like they were made out of pewter and one of them had this cup in its arm
1:05:48
and was twisting the lid onto it and I kind of had the impression that maybe they were taking
1:05:54
genetic material from him um and uh they stopped dead in their tracks
1:06:01
as soon as they saw me standing there in the kitchen and uh they were like whoa you know and
1:06:09
I kind of said I was like hi and then uh one of them said oh hello
1:06:15
friend you know in this very upbeat happy voice
1:06:21
um and so then we you know we head out the back door and
1:06:27
um I'm still holding this one guy's hand and he takes me to the end of the driveway
1:06:32
and looks both ways I assume we're crossing the street um but then he's like let's go now
1:06:41
um and he heads back and there's this craft that lights up in the driveway
1:06:46
uh with kind of lights all around it and there's a square door and the other
1:06:51
two beans just kind of float in that square door and then he takes me in and we're sitting there and uh we're just
1:07:00
kind of having Pleasant conversation there's one of them has its back to us
1:07:08
and I assume he's steering the craft somehow I don't
1:07:13
really know uh there weren't any Windows on it it was like just This brilliant
1:07:19
white light inside of it uh with a small table in the center it
1:07:25
was very cramped it was not a large Craft um but I you know I was smiling the
1:07:33
whole time and they asked me you know why are you exposing your teeth
1:07:39
and I said uh well it's how we it's how we express happiness and they
1:07:46
were like this they kind of were like giggling but this was all telepathic right and so one of them is trying to
1:07:52
like stretch its face to make it to make itself smile and he couldn't do it and
1:07:58
it was like this big giggle moment and then they said something about uh my
1:08:06
roommate's dog because uh he's he would sleep with his dog in the bed
1:08:12
um with him at night and uh one of them was like oh yes and they were talking about how pretty her
1:08:19
fur was and uh they said oh yeah she loves him very much about
1:08:25
[Music] um about about the way that the dog felt
1:08:31
about my room right obviously um and then you know
1:08:37
um you know suddenly they're dropping me off at the back door
1:08:43
um and two of them are hanging out the the square door and uh they're waving at me and they're
1:08:50
like goodbye friend you know and I'm like I'm like bye and I vaguely remember
1:08:56
going back into the house and going back to bed but uh it was it was a
1:09:02
very odd experience and you woke up the next morning and recalled all all this oh
1:09:08
yeah yeah yeah and I I wrote it all down in my journal because I the whole time I'm keeping a journal about everything
1:09:14
that's happening to me okay I didn't realize I was gonna write a book later but it turns out it was a good idea that
1:09:22
I kept the journal because it helped it helped me to write the book later had you always kept the journal prior to
1:09:29
no no I had not it was it was actually something that I read in uh that William
1:09:35
Walker Atkinson wrote he said you know that it's important to keep a
1:09:40
journal um not only for yourself but for future Generations
1:09:47
and so I was like okay I guess that's what I'll do okay and I started doing it
1:09:53
and these these entities we were just talking about am I recalling correctly that they've looked like Teletubbies
1:10:00
Teletubbies vaguely or yeah I mean they had a very small spindly legs they were
1:10:07
floating um they had like a fat face and kind of
1:10:13
uh fat bodies and and the like the one piece
1:10:19
suit that they were wearing was like uh it's made them look like a Teletubby
1:10:26
they were just kind of fadish and um and no legs really
1:10:34
it was it was very odd like the two of them that came out of my roommate's room were in like red suits and the one that
1:10:41
I was holding his hand he had a gray suit on I don't I'm not sure if that was
1:10:46
a indication of gender maybe or something I don't I'm not really sure well the
1:10:52
Teletubbies they do like to dress up in different colors so it's not atypical [Music]
1:10:58
and and they you say they were wearing goggles similar to the the gnome-like
1:11:03
creature but uh as far as you know these were different species yeah that's how they appeared
1:11:10
otherwise oh yeah yeah absolutely they were they were totally different um because as I said the The Gnome guy
1:11:17
he had like a locked white beard and uh kind of a large nose uh
1:11:27
yeah he he looked I I mean a yard gnome is the only way I can describe because
1:11:32
he was just that short too you know um and I don't know if he was floating or
1:11:38
not the yard gnome guy because he he was just standing at the end of my nightstand right you know and I never
1:11:45
saw him leave or arrive uh he was just there
1:11:51
you know have you ever uh considered having someone do some graphical
1:11:59
sketches or illustrations of some of uh some of the entities that you interacted
1:12:04
with uh I I mean I would like to uh I don't I
1:12:09
don't know anybody who's really a great artist though I don't and nobody's asked
1:12:15
me hey nobody said hey I'm an artist you know I'll do it if you want I mean I I would love to have someone do that I
1:12:22
mean I think that would be really neat but I'm sure there's uh somebody out there so if you're listening to this and
1:12:27
you want to uh uh help Matthew out with that they can reach you by uh Facebook
1:12:33
he's pretty responsive Matthew believe it or not I think we've just scratched the surface on what I
1:12:39
wanted to cover with you because the other side of this we covered a little bit but you have a lot more to say about
1:12:45
stoicism which we we kind of talked around but I I really would like to get
1:12:50
more into your understanding of stoicism and get a
1:12:55
little more practical about how people can start to
1:13:01
apply different ways of of working with their emotions and and how they're
1:13:06
thinking about things to become ripe for this type of initiative initiatory
1:13:12
experience because um you said at some point that this is
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why you think you were ripe or ready for this type of experience is because you
1:13:24
in some ways did approach things from a a stoic point of view and I don't think
1:13:31
a lot of people even really understand what stoicism is I think people when they hear stoicism they think of someone
1:13:36
who is basically has no emotions and is a repressing repressing their emotions
1:13:42
and I don't think that that's what stoicism is so I'd like to talk with you more about that and what this concept of
1:13:49
the seasons of initiation so I'm hoping that you can join me again and we can kind of get into part two of of
1:13:57
um where this experience LED you in a deeper way oh yeah absolutely I'd I'd be delighted
1:14:04
to come back all right that'd be great well thanks so much for spending some
1:14:09
time with me today for this episode and we'll have you back real soon okay thank
1:14:14
you thanks for having me thanks everybody